scrapping chick flick idea

i had a talk with my teachers and decided to go back to my first draft,
the problem with my first draft was that the plot didn't make much sense, the camera angles and editing were fine but the narrative was hard to follow.
now I'm keeping the first section of my first draft the same, the first 30 seconds or so, then I'm continuing on with my new plot from there.
in my previous post:
http://lutterworthasdanituffen0910.blogspot.com/2010/03/target-audience.html

i said that one of the reasons I'd changed was because of target audience, its true that for me it would be easier to aim for that target audience but my teacher doesn't think that first my style and neither do i, so by going back I'm aiming for my original target audience which was both genders and an age range of 16 to 20.

I'm going to use this as inspiration for the credits in my opening, this goes on for the same amount of time that my opening needs to go on for so i can see how i can make mine look.
i can do the shots, lighting and credits like this easily, but I'm going to have issues with music, i already have music for my first 30 to 50 seconds, but I'm still looking for music for the rest of it, i edit to music a lot at home so its one of my strong points but its difficult to find music like the music used in this opening



i get a lot of ideas for one film opening, but when i try to put them together i end up losing the narrative because i focus on the editing and videoing to much, with this new idea I'm planning it in depth and sticking strictly to it.

the plot of the new idea is as follows:

• it starts with a girl dead/just been killed.
• the story is from a detective's point of view
• the plot follows the detective trying to hunt down the serial killer as the number of victims piles up
• each victim is killed right outside there homes which suggests the killer stalks his victims before he kills them
• it ends with the killer being found out, after following a pattern of clues left on every victim and the links between each victim, e.g the first and the second victim knew each other